hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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