i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
