..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
