I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dick has a subreddit
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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