in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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