Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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