it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
