God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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