so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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