I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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