You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
