Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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