Its about making memories worth repressing
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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