Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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