Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
