Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
