I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
