I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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