That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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