Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
