i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
