just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
