lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I want a musical about memes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
