I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
