Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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