Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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