There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
