I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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