If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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