I'm lost and stupid without you.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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