All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
