Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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