how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
