Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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