would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
