At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Did I show you my penis last night?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
