Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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