If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
