Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
