I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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