It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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