I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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