this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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