i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i think im in europe. pls send help
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
try to milk me bitch
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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