Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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