I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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