you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your penis caused this!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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