don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
