don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
