um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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