I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
