She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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