dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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