Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
