you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you inspire me to be a worse person
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
