i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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