I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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