Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
