Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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