there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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