i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
