Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
