I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
