i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
