I looked at my own cervix.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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