its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
