First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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